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Lots of women believe they can "sex" their way through a workalte. Men, designer outfits, laser facials, body-sculpting classes or even mind-blowing orgasms cannot get you to that place. Realizing that has given me a sense of what I want out of a partner and what I just won't tolerate.
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It's a waste of time, and trust me, men aren't doing the huy thing. I've started being honest with myself about the difference, and strangely I've found that the best relationships involve moments of real discomfort -- but also real joy. Good male friends also serve as an important reminder of how many trustworthy, kind, reliable men there are out there.